I Got a House, I Got a House, I Got a House, Hey Hey Hey Hey!

We signed. It's ours. The sellers may vacate early. That's OK with us. We've picked paint colors for the office and extra bedroom. We've ordered a new mattress and bedroom suite. We are off to order the couches.

Still so much to do. But this has all been so easy. It has all worked out so well.

Almost.

Wow, I started this little thing and just let it drop, huh? Oh well.

Things around here have been stressful. Most of our stuff is in boxes. Even the dog is stressed. We are buying stock in rawhide.

But we sign tomorrow! I can't wait!

And now I get to shop for furniture. When I don't have to buy furniture, I just get to look, I see tons of things that I would love to have. But now that I have the house to put it in, and I have to spend money on it, none of it is quite what I want. Lots of great stuff, I just can't fall in love with any of it. And I honestly don't even know what I'm looking for.

Final walk-through today. Sign tomorrow. Move next weekend. Get out of this shitty apartment. Stretch my legs a little. This is good.

I'm ready.

I'm ready to move. We got the down payment together. We just have to wait until closing now. This is difficult. I am ready to be out of our tiny apartment.

Lots of things are wrong with the apartment. It has gotten to the point where it is funny. A couple of years ago, the heating fan in the bathroom went out. Now we have a switch that does nothing. Did we put in a work order? Of course not. We are too lazy for that. And we would have to be there to deal with repair men and keep the dog off of them. And I would have to put on a bra. Too lazy.

There is some damage to the wall in the bathroom and also to the inside of the door. We tried to lock Stinky in there once while we were gone to keep him from destroying the house. Apparently didn't work. I did wash all the peanut butter off the walls though.

We caught Stinky with a syrup bottle once. He is amazingly good at removing lids. He was drinking the syrup. So was the carpet. I did get all of that up eventually though, thanks to my new Bissell. I have a love affair with my Bissell Little Green. That is another post entirely.

A couple of months ago, our towel rack in the bathroom started to break. It still holds towels, but it is holding together by a thin strip of metal. Work order? No, see above.

And finally, the kitchen sink. Several weeks ago, I noticed that when I turned on the water, a small fountain shot out of the back of the faucet. Not good, not normal. Probably easily fixed, I probably could have done it myself. But I didn't . Now it has stopped leaking, but when we turn the water off, it makes a high pitched squealing sound for about three seconds. It sounds like someone is squishing a bunny. J and I laugh every time. We are horrible people.

But every time something else goes wrong, or we hear the squished bunny, we look at each other and repeat our mantra:

It is time for us to move.

At least I have a goal.

I am so unbelievably tired. It seems like all I do right now is work and sleep. Oh wait, that's because all I do right now is work and sleep. But there is a goal. Just need to get the down payment together. It will happen. It has to happen.

In the past, when I was a staff nurse instead of pool, I never could have worked as much as I am right now. But now I feel like I am going to work because I want to, not because I have to. Even on that fifth day, there is freedom. And I have a goal in mind. I won't have to work like this forever. I can do this. As long as I don't think of anything else I could be doing during the week. Work, sleep, and eat. That is all I have time to do right now.

We worked right through Thanksgiving. It was hard to pass up the opportunity to work. I really didn't miss it. We ate at work. My second family. I have been through tough times with those people. We have seen some action. They are my war buddies.

The only thing I really missed about Thanksgiving was dressing and mashed potatoes. I need to have Mom make that for me when we go visit in December. I like it best when she makes the dressing anyway.

Yes, this is really happening.

We decided that we love the house. It fits us. It is everything we wanted and more.

We put in an offer yesterday evening. They countered late last night. And we are accepting.

We are buying the house.

Holy shit.

Is it too soon?

Is it too soon to say you have found "your house" when you have only driven around one day? Well, we think we found our house. It has everything on our must-have list, and all but a couple of things off our picky list. Plus so much more. Four bedrooms, three baths, separate bedroom with its own bath that would be great for a guest room, separate laundry, and not a lot of carpet. What carpet it does have is very nice, but will be gone soon, hopefully not too long after we move in.

Is this too quick? I keep feeling like it's too easy. Of course, we have to check again on the financing, but that shouldn't be a problem.

Maybe we could be in by Christmas.

In The Market

My husband and I have been discussing taking a travel contract. At first we were very excited. We filled out all the paperwork and applications. We told the recruiter where we would like to go to work. We applied for licenses to other states.

Then the ambiguity kicked in. Do we really want to pack up half of our stuff so someone can stay in our apartment for us while we are gone? Do we really want to leave the dog behind? Do we really want to drive across the country? Can they even offer us enough money to make this whole thing worthwhile?

Then we started discussing how much we would like to have a larger apartment. Or even a house. What if we bought a house? We have definitely outgrown this place, but five years in a one-bedroom apartment will do that to you.

So on a whim, we went to our bank to talk about home loans. We sat down with a lender and talked about our fears relating to our credit history. How much can we afford? Can we really do this?

And the answer: Yes, we can. And they approved us. And now we are looking for a house.

So, I get to call our recruiter and tell him to put everything on hold. I have to work my ass off to get money together for a down payment. I get to pack.

But I can't wait. This is so big. Exciting. The next step.

Exhausted

Well, I was able to work last night. Finally. Except I worked on a floor, instead of the critical care units I'm used to. It was different. An entirely different skill set. It was hard. I was very busy.

But it could have been worse. And I survived. (And so did all of my patients.) I'm not afraid to go back to the floor. I know I can handle it.

More later. Maybe. Right now I'm just exhausted.

Or Not

So, I guess I'm not working tonight. They don't need me. Both the blessing and the curse of working pool.

Oh well, maybe we can tackle that closet cleaning tonight.

Working

I need to go back to work today. I haven't worked in two weeks. Just haven't wanted to. But I need to go back tonight. Or I may never go back. You can't make me.

But I like spending money. I like wandering around Target and spending more money. So I need to work for that money.

I've enjoyed my time off. I got to work on some projects, although not all the ones I needed to take care of around the house. I spent a lot of great time with my husband. We got to talk a lot. And read a lot. That was nice, too.

Agnostic in church

We spent this past weekend at my parents house. It wasn't bad. Mom cooks, I eat. We catch up on the people we know in common. I do my best to avoid discussing politics, and smile sweetly and nod when they discuss religion.

I haven't had the "religion" discussion with my parents yet. They may have some idea that I don't believe what they do, but they probably just think I have developed a temporary distaste for The Church, not permanently left it. I am currently dreading this conversation. I know it will happen. When there is a child involved. They will want to take it to church. Fine. They can take the child to visit their church. They will want the child to be taken to church regularly, for the ritual brainwashing. That will not happen. I want my child to be able to make the choice on their own. When they are old enough to understand. Not when they are young and can be scared into it.

My parents wanted my husband and I to go to their new church with them this weekend. They wanted everyone to be able to meet us. Fine. It really wasn't bad. Everyone was very friendly. I miss the social aspect of church, really. I just don't want to hang out with church people, per se.

Attending church at this point is daunting for me. I don't believe it, so I feel like a bit of a hypocrite for being there. On the other hand, if I am there and not participating, not going through the motions, I draw attention to myself. I may draw the attention of some well-meaning church-goer who feels the need to come and pray with me. So I go through the motions. Performing the minimum necessary to escape unnoticed. I know all the moves, and I know what to watch out for. I was involved in it for a long time. Twenty-two years actually.